how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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