Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize