Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
