Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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