Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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