So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
