well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Terrible idea I love it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize