Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
