i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
