I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
