real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
