doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Michael Bay diarrhea
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
