I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
