Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
