I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
