I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
