You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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