At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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