Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
