just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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