I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
