Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
