nut hugger
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
