I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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