just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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