Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
