im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just want to make out with him forever
BRING THE BAGELS
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize