He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week š
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Thanks for going with me today. Itās been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
Itās called āshopping for lingerieā and itās one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
