using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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