is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
