my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
