if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
