I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
