return my video game
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
