I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
