just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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