dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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