one word: firstdatebathroomanal
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
