Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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