can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
