I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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