Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
