I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
