grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
