what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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