Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm bleeding and have questions
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
