She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
