By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it's like iHOP with fire
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
