Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
