i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
