Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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