I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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