p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize