pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
