Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
