I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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