HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
