Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize