You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
