My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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