That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize