I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
