i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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