Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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