What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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