I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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