just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
