For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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