I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
