Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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