Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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