the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
