my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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